Epic Quotes

Reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend once.

Friend: Drove around town yesterday, and I almost hit a badger.
Me: Really!?
Friend: Thank god I didn't, I hear they're a bitch to hit. Supposedly they cling onto the tires and destroy the whole front in the process.
Me: Wow, that's brutal.
Friend: For my car, yes.
Me: I meant the badger.
Friend: It's worse for me, because I won't have a car anymore.
Me: It's worse for the badger, because IT WON'T BE ALIVE ANYMORE, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN THAT?

Pfffff, these people... no sympathy XD

Me: I have no boobs. I'm flat-chested. I'm an A-cup
Friend: A-
Me: I was thinking of saying that, except that would mean they would go inwards
Friend: In fact, A---------------
Me: OH GOSH IT WOULD COME OUT OF MY BACK. I bet there's a fetish for that somewhere in this world >.<
Friend: You have a fetish for backboobs
Me: NO. Piggybacks would be awkward. Not that I'm big enough to give anyone a piggyback
Friend: This is making me giggle
Me: GOOD. That's what I like to hear. Now mount me.
Friend: That sounds wrong!
Me: Ohhh yes. Or do you mean... right? ;D My backboobs are made for mounting
Friend: YOU CAN BE A NEW ROCK CLIMBER
Me: Does that mean there's two gaping tunnels where my breasts SHOULD be? And if you put your hands through them you can control my backboobs like puppets?
Friend: Then it's like riding a car. So then you can drive me to England!
Me: YES. That image I just had. Of you hopping on my front (not in a sexual way) and driving me (not in a sexual way), and I'm running BACKWARDS, and you steer me with the puppet breasts. THAT WAS A WEIRD IMAGE. And it's hard to describe it without sounding VERY dirty
Friend: I'M CRYING
Me: I don't think anyone in the world has had this conversation before

.....
XD

...What is that? xD

Oh my god that conversation I love it.

Aliucon wrote:...What is that? xD

By troll, I meant this kind of troll



She set you up, man! XD

Ah, I know. xD
I was actually saying "...What is that?" to your own unique conversation. As in, "what the heck were you on when you wrote that with your friend?". xD

Oh XD But yeah it was indeed unique... but that makes for the best conversations.

RIGHT, EMA?

If I was there, I would probably note that if you would REALLY have your boobs go inwards so much, you would at LEAST need sice D---------------, A is not that much you know.

Oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with me I need to lie down...

NS wrote:Oh XD But yeah it was indeed unique... but that makes for the best conversations.

RIGHT, EMA?

Right indeed broterpie. And that's a car.

SNK has a point.

And Ema... you made me laugh out loud XD

I try.

So I got Crooked to finally play Phoenix Wright.
Here are some of his thoughts.

"Who is this woman, and why is she not wearing a bra?"
Three guesses who he was talking about.

"Obviously Phoenix is attracted to this girl, but it's in first person view, so I'm not comfortable with this."

*passport is added to the court record*
"*singsong* The passport~!"

*I'm watching him play the game via FaceTime*
*the game asks him a question*
"Which will I choose.... *singsong gleefully* Cliffhanger~!"

Him: Objection!
Me: that was a nice objection, you sounded like Mia's from the third game.
Him: Oh, she lives?
Me: ....Did you think she died?
Him: I thought her chest was so heavy she trips.

Riu wrote:So I got Crooked to finally play Phoenix Wright.
Here are some of his thoughts.

"Who is this woman, and why is she not wearing a bra?"
Three guesses who he was talking about.

"Obviously Phoenix is attracted to this girl, but it's in first person view, so I'm not comfortable with this."

*passport is added to the court record*
"*singsong* The passport~!"

*I'm watching him play the game via FaceTime*
*the game asks him a question*
"Which will I choose.... *singsong gleefully* Cliffhanger~!"

Him: Objection!
Me: that was a nice objection, you sounded like Mia's from the third game.
Him: Oh, she lives?
Me: ....Did you think she died?
Him: I thought her chest was so heavy she trips and cracks her head open.

Fixed. Don't forget the head cracking.

Riu wrote:
"Who is this woman, and why is she not wearing a bra?"
Three guesses who he was talking about.

EDGEWORTH

Riu wrote:"Who is this woman, and why is she not wearing a bra?"
Three guesses who he was talking about.

Cindy Stone, I'm sure.

Ema Skye wrote:

Riu wrote:
"Who is this woman, and why is she not wearing a bra?"
Three guesses who he was talking about.

EDGEWORTH

SO CLOSE
BUT NO

Ema Skye wrote:

Riu wrote:
"Who is this woman, and why is she not wearing a bra?"
Three guesses who he was talking about.

EDGEWORTH

Frankly, I think Grossberg needs a bra more than Mia

Oh god truth.

Grossberg in a bra

I am cry

Jordan: You whore!
Kasha: It's not nice to be a hypocrite Jordan!

Hahahahahaha nice comeback!

I'm proud of what I said in English class. But you'll need to know this first...
Suffix: A morpheme added at the end of a word to form a derivative, e.g., -ation, -fy, -ing, -itis.

Y: What's a suffix again?
M: Your mum's a suffix
Me: I added your mum to the end of my dick
Everyone: ..............................
M: ...That was actually really good
A: Yeah it was... I didn't expect that from you
*Everyone on table bursts out laughing*

In response to my last one, this happened just now...

Me: I knew you were going to say that. PREDICTABLE.
Sister: Your mum's predictable
Me: I predicted your mum would be underneath me