Epic Quotes

Hahaha you and your cousins are the best.

Goken = Me
PatrickT = Friend
Dick injection = reference to previous day's conversation, ignore it

PFFFFFFFFF that is a great conversation there.

I was proud of my banana

Sooooo Clare Brendan Tj and I hung out today and watched Lord of the Rings and we were talking about this orc

Tj: Hey I think it has Snooki's hair style
Me: That's her twin sister
Brendan: Yeah that's Snoorki

Also
Tj: Can I call you Sombrebro
Me: Only if I can call you Churrbro

Oh my god. Give me your friends, I want them.

*Sings to the tune of Give Me All Your Love*
GIVE ME ALL YOUR FRIENDS~

Anyway... Sombrebro and Churrbro, I love them both XD

So this is what my friend just said on MSN... *copypasta*
*I find a lot of things cute
*like cows ; )
*you see
*I have this urge
*to hug a cow
*would be amazing

AND THEN
Me: *i wouldnt mind hugging a cow
Him: *in soviet russia
*cow hugs you

~ GIVE ME ALL YOUR FRIENDS
GIVE ME ALL YOUR FRIENDS
DON'T GIVE THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE~
~ GIVE ME ALL YOUR FRIENDS
GIVE ME ALL YOUR FRIENDS
DON'T SHARE THEM WITH SOMEONE ELSE~

EDIT: I'm not sure in retrospect whether you meant TWEWY's Give Me All Your Love, but that's what I interpreted it as.

NO ALL MY FRIENDS ARE BELONG TO ME

;_;
BUT I WANTS THEM

I like them too much though I would be forever lost without them.
I'll let you borrow them if you pay me good money though =D

Yes the TWEWY one

So "Ejaculated" has sort of an old-fashioned usage as a synonym for "exclaimed" or "shouted"
Arthur Conan Doyle was fond of it. It makes Sherlock Holmes novels much more interesting,
"'Simple!' I ejaculated."

Oh, and this gem from little more than a page later,
"'As a minor point, it may be noted that our wooden-legged friend, though a fair climber, was not a professional sailor. His hands were far from horny.'"
I don't even know what he was trying to say with this one.

Oh dear if I don't stop laughing I'm going to ejaculate

I read something similar in a book for English the other day. Oh look, found it.

Sometimes the changing connotations of a word can give a new and startling sense to literary passages, as in The Mayor of Casterbridge where Thomas Hardy has one of his characters gaze upon 'the unattractive exterior of Farfrae's erection' or in Bleak House where Dickens writes that 'Sir Leicester leans back in his chair, and breathlessly ejaculates.'

Me: *OH YEAH
*you were in my dream!

Friend: *OH?

Me: *it was so weird
*i was sitting on a sofa with you and another friend
*and you were both gonna help me get to a train station so i could go on holiday...?
*so you were being all nice and stuff then you both took me there
*but left me at some random other train and ran off so i was lost
*and i was wondering why you left me like that so i had to find the right train myself and go
*then it suddenly skipped to me coming back from holiday
*and everyone was saying how you two hated me
*and i was wondering why
*and some other random people i know were saying stuff like 'sorry i shouldnt talk to you after what you did..'
*so then some random cool-looking chinese guy called xion who was a part-time hiphop artist and triad member (i dont even know) saw me
*and apparently hed been my friend from some years ago but suddenly sorta disappeared
*and i was in his helicopter with him
*and he was talking about why everyone hated me
*and i found out the reason when i got a tape
*because when i played the tape
*you know that little kid that lives across the road?
*it was a video of him beating the crap out of xion but with my face badly edited over his
*and xion was all covered in blood and stuff, the kid was just punching him to the ground
*then the kid sent the tape to lots of people i knew
*and they fell for the poor editing and thought i was beating up xion
*so you and my other friend left me at the wrong train to get me back
*so then i got angry at the kid and woke up
*the end

WAY TO FREAK OUT A FRIEND!

~It's clean. It's clear. It's pure~
It's what?
~It's rare.~
It takes you there
It what?
It takes you there


I really love Zydrate Anatomy.

Yes! I was just reading Sherlock not that long ago and it made the book so amusing.

And that is a very messed up dream NS.

So me and Megan were in the car last night going to IHOP, and somehow we got onto the topic of my dick. The conversation went a little like this:
Megan: Drew your dick is tiny!
Me: No it's not! It's massive! IT'S BIGGER THAN YOU.... BECAUSE YOU'RE SO SHORT.
Megan: THEN HOW DO YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS?
Me. ....THERE'S AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE IN MY UNDERWEAR. MY DICK TAKES UP THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. EVERYONE IN THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE IS DROWNING IN MY COCKFLESH..... yes I did just say that.
Megan: ....Wait. Is this the alternate universe from that one episode of Doctor Who?
Me: ....YES. I AM SMOTHERING THE CYBERMEN WITH MY DICK RIGHT NOW.


And that's pretty much it.

...HAHAHAHAHA

You never mentioned that story. D: Bitch.

Well I had forgotten.

ALSO~
Megan and I had Crooked on the phone last night.
ME: OH! Trey, remember that one time we were on the phone and I got you to do that thing and it was awesome?
Crooked (Trey): Uhh... No.
Me: We were talking about how James is gay?
Trey: Who?
Me: From Pokemon!
Trey Oh! No, I'm not doing that.
Me: Yes you are.
*mild amount of arguing takes place*
Me: TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION.
Trey: *sigh* To unite all peoples within our nation.
Me: TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE
Trey: To extend our reach to the stars above.
Me: JESSE~
Trey: *in the most seductive voice he can manage, which isn't very* James.
Me: *HEIL HITLER salute* Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!
Trey: Surrender now, or prepare to fight!
Me: *looks at Megan expectantly*
Megan: ... TREY YOU SUCK AT THAT
ME: OH MY GOD MEGAN YOU RUINED IT. GOOOOD! I CANNOT WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS! *RAGE QUIT*

I told you Megan should have done it instead of me.

No. You were awesome. She screwed it up.

And God I wasn't trying to be seductive. James just sounds like he's groaning all the time.

James is a parody of Bishie guys according to Bulbapedia.

And that was just my interpretation of how you sounded.