Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
4 posters
Page 1 of 1
![Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT] Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif)
Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by Riu Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:07 pm
Finally~
This is even shorter than I wanted it, but it was taking me too long to write, it's about the same length as the other two chapters though.
CHAPTER 2: THE PRESIDENT
This is even shorter than I wanted it, but it was taking me too long to write, it's about the same length as the other two chapters though.
CHAPTER 2: THE PRESIDENT
- Spoiler:
- The elevator rose higher and higher, the only sound was that of the riders’ breathing and the low hum of the lift. And possibly a man screaming from far below, but that was much more difficult to make out. The elevator chimed, a small, glowing 5 displayed over the doors. They slid open, revealing a small, well-furbished waiting room. Riu and Ema strode out into the room, beckoning for Crooked to follow. “She’ll be expecting us, I think she was eager to meet you.” Riu said as the walked towards the opposite door. Ema grabbed hold of the handle with a dramatic flourish, and said, opening the door, “And here she is! The president of Turnabout HUG News, Wunderbar Phalanges!”
The door opened, revealing…….. an empty office. There was a large, orante wooden desk on the far side of the room, with an empty coffee mug sitting on it, surrounded by piles of scattered papers. A computer laid overturned on the floor; it fell off at some point and no one had yet bothered to pick it up. Behind the desk there was a window that took up the whole of the wall, providing a beautiful view of the nearby river that I just now decided is there. The strangest asset to the room, however, was the large stage on the far left of the room, upon it a grand piano and microphone in the foreground, and at the back along the wall was a massive, imposing pipe organ.
Riu started mumbling to himself (something about a lazy witch?), and walked over to the desk and began banging with his fist on top of it, “WAKE UP WOMAN!” There was a grumbling from under the desk, then the sound of someone hitting their head on the underside of the desk, followed by more grumbling. A second later, a blonde head popped up on the opposite side of the desk, looking like a drunk prairie dog sticking its head up to search for signs of its high hippo girlfriend (if you’ve ever seen one of these you know what I’m talking about). She stood up, still visibly disoriented, but she broke out into a grin and exclaimed, “Well guess what! I got a whole half-an-hour of sleep last night!” Ema looked visibly impressed, but Riu just cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “Wunder, the new employee?” Wunder looked confused momentarily, but then her eyes widened, “Oh yeah!” She turned to Crooked, “Hey there! Welcome to HUG! So, I’m assuming Riu and Ema gave you the grand tour already?”
“Err, yeah, they showed me the facility…. Is it legal, by the way, to kill employees for masturbating at work?”
“….The paperwork’s still being done on that one…” A look of vague concern passed over Wunder’s face, but she quickly dismissed it, “Anyways, it’s time for the next part of your so-called ‘initiation’.” She turned around and began sifting through papers on her desk, muttering, “I hate that word for it, it sounds like we’re college students hazing you or something…Aha!” She shouted the final word, and pulled a sheet a paper from underneath a cat that had been sleeping beneath a particularly large stack of papers. Wunder folded it with frightening dexterity into a paper airplane, which she released into the air; the plane gliding gently straight to Crooked. Riu explained, “It’s just a simple release form…. For uhh, complicated legal reasons…. IF YOU FILL IT OUT YOU GET FREE CANDY.” Riu flashed a bright smile, accompanied by a thumbs-up at Crooked. Wunder rolled her eyes, “Don’t worry, it’s for your benefit; it simply states that you have no affiliation with the torture department or Self-Esteem Fund for Girls Coalition, to keep you safe in case of a messy lawsuit.”
Crooked stared at the paper. Emblazoned across the top were the words, “I, [insert name here], HEREBY SWEAR I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TORTURE DEPARTMENT OR THE SELF-ESTEEM FUND FOR GIRLS COALITION, AND I SHOULD NOT BE INCLUDED IN ANY MESSY LAWSUITS. AlsoIgiveRiufullpermissiontosexuallyharassmeinanymannerofhischoosing.” Followed by a line for his signature. He sighed, took his lucky pen out of his breast pocket, and signed the document, having already resigned himself to just going along with whatever insanity went on around here. Maybe it’d be more fun that way.
Instantly Riu was on top of Crooked, attempting to grope him.
…Yeah, on second thought, not so much fun.
Ema walked over and kicked Riu off Crooked, and then proceeded to spray him from a bottle labeled “Luminol.” Wunder laughed, but nevertheless asked them to leave. Riu instantly protested, arguing that Crooked had signed the release and that Wunder would be hearing from his lawyers, while Ema shouted how luminol was only slightly toxic to humans. “Shut up!” The squabbling stopped, “Both of you, out! I still need to talk to our new employee, and you two are setting a bad example!”
Too late for that, thought Crooked, as the two trouble-makers shambled out the door, their heads down. “So,” Wunder said, pushing the hair out of her face, “You may be wondering who exactly your coworkers will be, where you will be working, and what your duties will be. Riu was supposed to explain all this, but due to the high chances of you pressing charges, BoL will help out instead.”
“Yo.”
Crooked jumped yet again in fright as he became aware of the man standing directly behind him, who definitely hadn’t be there a second ago. “How is it you people keep doing that!?” Crooked demanded, and the man (BoL?) just shrugged, “It’s necessary for all investigative journalists here at THUG to be trained in the art of being badass ninjas.” Wunder cleared her throat loudly, interrupting the two men, “Crooked, BoL, that’s Book of Life, will escort you on the remainder of your tour, and also introduce you to your working environment and your coworkers. You two have fun! I’m going back to sleep, this has been ridiculously draining.” With that, the blonde president turned around and fell over on the carpeted floor, snoring.
“Come on. Time to meet the whole crew,” intoned BoL, “Yaay. You’ll just love them.”
Last edited by Riu on Sun Jul 24, 2011 2:55 am; edited 1 time in total
Riu- Admin
-
Number of posts : 15204
Age : 29
Location : My car WOOO
Registration date : 2008-12-14
Re: Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by Crooked Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:22 pm
Oh thank God for Ema. I want a bodyguard.
Dat last paragraph. I could reread it forever and still never know what it says. (Thank you for inserting Korrok.)
Dat last paragraph. I could reread it forever and still never know what it says. (Thank you for inserting Korrok.)
Crooked- Professional Hugger
- Number of posts : 861
Age : 30
Location : 渋谷川
Registration date : 2011-04-04
Re: Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by Riu Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:23 pm
Blah, half the story relies on ancient inside jokes on this site, it makes sense if you don't get parts of it.
Riu- Admin
- Number of posts : 15204
Age : 29
Location : My car WOOO
Registration date : 2008-12-14
Re: Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by Ema Skye Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:28 pm
Oh my god glorious.
Ema Skye- Admin
-
Number of posts : 6176
Age : 32
Location : Hogwarts
Registration date : 2008-12-14
Re: Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by Riu Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:30 pm
Thank you
Riu- Admin
- Number of posts : 15204
Age : 29
Location : My car WOOO
Registration date : 2008-12-14
Re: Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by NS Sat Jul 23, 2011 4:42 pm
That makes us seem sooo badass. I feel specialRiu wrote:“… Well. Anyways, it all started four score and seven years ago, when the great Dishiblahblah the Conqueror took over the eastern shore of Sri Lanka, winning it back from the Xzibit aliens who had annexed it during the Second Great Thing that happened at some point or other, I don’t know. Then in The Year of Our Lord Korrok 2-00XXXZW333$@<3 a small newspaper was born. It was the city of Central Recordian, a bustling metropolis filled with towering skyscrapers, sleek and shiny cars, and a fantastically failing judicial system. But there was one man, joined by a band of his friends who dared to stand up against the crime, villainy, and corruption that plagued his beloved city. His name was Son Neo Kaku….”
That's the best chapter, it's filled with character. Good work :3 I actually think that's the perfect chapter size, I don't like reading and I think it's not too long and not too short. But that might just be me XD
NS- God of Hugs
- Number of posts : 6368
Age : 30
Location : Broton
Registration date : 2008-12-14
Re: Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by Riu Sat Jul 23, 2011 5:53 pm
Same with writing it too.
Long enough to have content, short enough I can write it fairly quickly.
I'll have the next chapter up ASAP, but I have a bit of writer's block.
Long enough to have content, short enough I can write it fairly quickly.
I'll have the next chapter up ASAP, but I have a bit of writer's block.
Riu- Admin
- Number of posts : 15204
Age : 29
Location : My car WOOO
Registration date : 2008-12-14
Re: Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by NS Sun Jul 24, 2011 7:23 pm
Update? Fair enough XD
NS- God of Hugs
- Number of posts : 6368
Age : 30
Location : Broton
Registration date : 2008-12-14
Re: Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 2: The President [UPDATED: READ IT]
by Ema Skye Mon Jul 25, 2011 11:40 am
Ugh, writers block is a bitch.
Ema Skye- Admin
- Number of posts : 6176
Age : 32
Location : Hogwarts
Registration date : 2008-12-14
Sponsored content
Similar topics» Turnabout HUG News: Chapter 1: The Tour
» TURNABOUT HUG NEWS!
» Turnabout HUG News: The Anthology
» Turnabout HUG News: Prologue: Pilot
» Turnabout Puzzle (aka Turnabout Layton)
» TURNABOUT HUG NEWS!
» Turnabout HUG News: The Anthology
» Turnabout HUG News: Prologue: Pilot
» Turnabout Puzzle (aka Turnabout Layton)
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum