Sarah W******** Must Die

Well I just got on Facebook and found out Tanner D***** is "in a relationship with" Sarah W******** (all last names are removed to protect identity, not that I think any of you are going to stalk them or anything.) Now, Tanner is my future husband even though he doesn't know it yet, so this is clearly a problem. The solution? I brutally murder Sarah. Who wants to help?

I will have no part of this! ...Unless I can use a battle axe somehow. Can I?

That sounds perfect.

YAY! It's slaughter time! *Laughs evilly*

I've got you back Riu... WITH FIRE I WILL BURN THIS BITCH TO THE GROUD

I'LL DISTRACT HER WITH MY MANLY CHARMS! THEN YOU CAN TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHEER HIM UP, TURN HIM GAY AND MARRY HIM. Then I'll punch her in the face and run away DO IT DO IT DO IT

All excellent suggestions.

My preferred method would be to make her swallow a bomb, but apparently that isn't very well accepted in today's society.

So Haley, the most awesome person I know ever, suggested digging a tunnel through the center of the Earth to Korea then using a vacuum to suck her down it and get rid of her by sending her to Korea. Which is and idea I quite like.

Riu wrote:My preferred method would be to make her swallow a bomb, but apparently that isn't very well accepted in today's society.

Or possible

No it's entirely possible, it would just have to be a small bomb :D

Well, I could kill her with my battle axe, then she'll turn into a ghost. Once she turns into a ghost, you could vacuum her up with the Poltergeist 5000, the best ghost sucker yet! And then you could throw it into the ocean.

Yeah, I think we've got this covered Riu :D

It's funny how she has no idea this is going on

Yeah, I've never even met the bitch... BUT SHE IS MY RIVAL ANYWAYS

RIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!

-stalks up Tanner-
Oh my.

-stalks up Sarah-
Oh my God.

Don't kill her, she looks so nice.

No Crooked, she is evil. And that had better be a good oh my.

NS wrote:

RIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!

EXACTLY LIKE THAT

Nice as in friendly or nice as in pretty?

Well she's very pretty, and I suppose she looks friendly as well but she could easily be a bitch, I dunno.

MAYBE I'LL ADD TANNER AS A FRIEND AND ASK HIM A LOT OF CREEPY QUESTIONS ABOUT HER

Crooked wrote:Well she's very pretty, and I suppose she looks friendly as well but she could easily be a bitch, I dunno.

MAYBE I'LL ADD TANNER AS A FRIEND AND ASK HIM A LOT OF CREEPY QUESTIONS ABOUT HER

Please don't.
I refuse to answer all of the strange questions that would follow.

Pretend you're her 'other' boyfriend, maybe he'd dump her and Riu can be there to comfort him

In a skirt