THOSE AWKWARD, INESCAPABLE MOMENTS

You know those moments... yeah THOSE ones. Want some examples?

Girl: When I study I like to make songs to help me
Me: ...
Girl's friend: Make what?
Girl: Songs
Me: Ohhh songs... I thought you said thongs... like... the underwear

It was then I remembered about her lisp. Everybody went silent then talked about something else. Ffff >.<

OH HEY WANT AN EXAMPLE FROM TONIGHT? Oh gosh...
I don't like my dad's toast. My mum knew this but he didn't. I don't know how a person can screw up making toast, but hey, I try to avoid his toast and make my own. Of course, I don't know how to make baked beans (or anything but toast), and I hadn't had dinner... my dad was home but my mum was out... so I texted her~

Me: Are you gonna be home soon? Would you be able to make some beans and toast for dinner?
Mum: Gonna be home late, maybe you can make the toast and dad can make the beans
Me: I'll make toast but won't have beans, will be obvious (obvious I didn't like his toast, that is)

1 minute later dad walks upstairs
Dad: 'Won't have beans, will be obvious'? What does that mean?
Me: Oh... long story... doesn't matter...

Yeah. I sent the text to my dad by mistake. 15 minutes of cringing later I go downstairs to make toast... dad follows me into the kitchen
Dad: 'Won't have beans, will be obvious'?

YEAH so I had to tell him the truth. Soooooo awkward. And inescapable. Anyone else have these moments...? XD

Today at band, a flute was wearing the flute section's section shirt from last year (each year each instrument orders their own section shirt, usually with something funny on it), and I never understood the joke behind it.
The shirt is white, and on the front it says "Completely Appropriate Section Shirt"

Me: Y'know, I never understood that section shirt.
Flute: ...I'm not going to explain it to you.
Me: C'mon, please?
Flute: ...Fine *turns around, showing the back of her shirt, the bottom half just lists the names of all the flute players, but the top half says something like "The flutes rock."*
Flute: *points at the red punctuation mark* What is this?
Me: ... a red peri- OOOHHHH!

Hahahaha that is the best shirt ever. For a long time there I thought you meant someone bought a shirt for an actual flute (the instrument itself) and that you started talking to it

At work, after placing plates down.

Me: Would anyone like any pepper or cheese?

*silence and/or people too caught up in their own conversations* Note: there's "No, thank you" or any sort of "no" stated. Sometimes people just stare at me.

Me: Alright, I'm just gonna go then.

Haha you said that to them? Good work, screw them

Haha, that's awesome!

Oh god all of these.
I've some of those. Of course I can't think of any right now...